After years of hiding without even realising, I was free to be me. I finally had a sense of what my life might and could be like. It took time, but I slowly began the process of 'coming-out' for the first time ever I finally understood who I was and missing parts of my identity fell into place. I tried to pretend to be like the other girls, but that didn't really feel good, I became far more interested in writing and making theatre than I was in boys, so I threw myself in to that instead.įinally, in my mid-20s I started working with a brilliant theatre company that just so happened to be packed to the rafters with queer women, of all ages, all very different, and suddenly things started to fall in to place for me. Over time this certainly impacted my own mental health and self-esteem. As my female friends started talking about boys, dating and embarking upon long term relationships, I found I had no interest in the opposite sex at all, and started to feel like there was something horribly wrong with me. For me the last few years of my teens were an incredibly difficult and anxious time. Hiding your identity will eventually take its toll, whether it's being done consciously or unconsciously. Is there something horribly wrong with me? So, without positive LGBT Role Models, healthy discussion around sexuality or the tackling of HBT language in schools, I had no point of reference for myself as a young gay woman. Sex education was strictly heterosexual and only about reproduction. Growing up under Section 28 meant that there were no 'out' teachers at school, and organisations like Diversity Role Models (DRM) didn't seem to exist. So I never even considered that I might be gay. I did however grow up hearing HBT language on a daily basis, whether it was using the word gay to describe something that was 'a bit rubbish', or as an insult. **(Please note that you could consider using “ obvious pseudonym” since it’s listed as a synonym of “transparent,” but I think it would/could be confused with the notion of “That name is obviously a pseudonym”, which does not capture, as I think “transparent pseudonym” does, the idea of “That name is easy to see through.I was fortunate never to encounter homophobic, biphobic or transphobic (HBT) bullying at school, I didn't come out until my mid-20s. ‘Am I that transparent? (= are my intentions that obvious?)’
‘The insect's wings are almost transparent.’Ģ (of an excuse, a lie, etc.) allowing you to see the truth easily ‘The rebel chief uses the pseudonym ‘Tigrillo’.’ġ (of glass, plastic, etc.) allowing you to see through it
(example usage from ‘The Cambridge Companion to Byron', edited by Drummond Bone, via ‘Google Books’)Īlthough it doesn’t include the notion of trying unsuccessfully to reveal one’s identity, it does I think imply that little is being done to try to hide it, and it and its plural do get a fair amount of hits on this Ngram.Ī name used by somebody, especially a writer, instead of their real name If you fail to find a single word, you could consider using “ transparent pseudonym” to describe this kind of self-chosen moniker. So is there a good word/phrase for a "secret identity" that remains "secret", not because you try to keep it hidden (you actually do rather the opposite), but because nobody actually believes you - even though your telling the truth and is completely honest about who you really are. For example, his therapist believes he's talking in metaphors, and find it easiest to just go along with his obvious "delusions". The problem of course, is that nobody actually believes him - even if he is telling the truth.
/469951107-crop-580729ad3df78cbc28eeb588.jpg "word writer uses to hide their identity")
He goes by the name "Lucifer Morningstar", which can hardly be called a "secret identity" - the first being one of the Devil's most common aliases and the second referring to the story of his fall in the Bible.įurther more, he frequently and freely volunteers that he is indeed The Devil. I've been following the TV-show "Lucifer", a show about The Devil leaving Hell and opening a nightclub i LA.
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